….Speaking of Pirates of the Caribbean leads us naturally to Johnny Depp which leads us to How I Stole Johnny Depp’s Alien Girlfriend. The cover looks like you are in for a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy kind of ride. Don’t be fooled. 99% of the action happens here on Earth. The Traveler has come here looking for her chosen one. Zelda is a Traveler from Vahalal. A beautiful Amazonian type woman who kicks butt clad only in skimpy bikinis, Zelda doesn’t swim because all the bodies of water on her planet would boil flesh. Zelda has never tasted ice cream. She has Space Splashed here seeking her chosen one, who coincidentally appears to be Johnny Depp. Her body is covered not with beautiful tribal tattoos but as she explains them “biological markings that show who I am and what I’ve done.” She will know her chosen one when she samples his DNA through kissing. Just wait until you find out how she transfers the key to Vahalal him.
14 year old David Gershwin’s dad is a famous psychologist working in a farmhouse outside of Paris. His newest patient is violent, determined, hot and handcuffed to furniture in his office when David meets her. David can’t help but be fascinated by her. Everything about her: from her green eyes to her Amazonian build to her deadly aim with anything passing as a weapon intrigue him. In his quest to continue to be around her, even after he is sent away to live with his cold, distant, fashionable divorce attorney mother, David gets sucked into Zelda’s quest to find her chosen one. The whole time David desperately wished to be her chosen one, even though it is impossible. Their madcap adventure will involve a visit to a juvenile detention center, attack by dogs, a road trip through France, a burning gas station, gustative biochemistry, and an audience in an abandoned school that now serves as home and headquarters to the other failed Travelers (who now live on earth some for hundreds of years) and Valks (pledged to help the Travelers and having forsaken children in the service of Zook and fighting).
How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend is a wild, kooky ride that will encourage you to laugh out loud. What more could you expect from a book called How I Stole Johnny Depp’s Alien Girlfriend?
